Roommates...

[oly884]

I've had my share of a few, some good, some not so good.

Now that I'm back in Seattle, I am looking for a place to live. Yes I'm living at home right now.

Anyways, I was approached by my best friend of 16 years. He was married last fall. Both he and his wife would like me to move in with them (they are in the process of finding a new place to rent). Because of this, they have been looking for places that are more 'split' so-to-speak in which they have their own space and I have my own, however we'd share the rent to some fashion.

My question is... what is the take of the general populous here? Also, what would be a fair way to split rent? 1/3rds doesn't seem quite right, but 1/2 doesn't either.

Share stories, suggestions, and so forth, it will be appreciated.

[04 Rocko Taco]

In my experience it depends on your relationship with the two of them. They are a married couple.
Your a single adult.
It can be more than awkward at times, but fun other times.
I would definitely look for a split level or duplex style home, where you guys each have a floor and share common areas like the kitchen. Otherwise, I would say thanks but no thanks.
I moved out when my roommate got married, because we had always had a sort of "open house" rule where everything was everyones, and it wasnt exactly condusive to a single adult and a married couple.

[Seanz0rz]

as roommates go, the ones i have right now are pretty good. that being said, im about to strangle two of them for partying all night (even when they know, and i reminded them, i have midterms, etc. not to mention the people who live on either side and below us), leaving the house a pigsty, etc. living with other people is hard, married couples are even harder, so i think you need to be damn sure you can handle it, etc.

as for living with a married couple: if you can find a space that is clearly defined between you and them, with the exception of common areas like the kitchen, then that would probably be best. im not sure how you live, but for me im content to stay in my room, and i dont use the living room much at all.

as for rent payment, i dont see 1/3 being completely unfair to them. maybe you could pay 4/9 or 5/12. im sure you could working something out. just talk to them, and if the deal sounds fair to both of you, then i see no problem.

[scottiac]

Since they are just looking for a place to rent, I'd say you're safe either way. Just make sure you have compatible ideas of what "clean enough" means, and discuss reasonable splits of who does what. Consider setting rent proportion based on square footage of non-common space. If they get two rooms, and you get one, then 1/3 might be reasonable.

If you get a "deal" on the rent, especially if you think it might be temporary, and they might stay on regardless of what you do, be prepared to do more than your share of the chores to compensate.

Try and make sure you get enough "you" space that you can retreat when necessary.

For the story part, my wife and I are letting two friends room with us in our house. They have one very small room, (which is a nightmare for them) and their own bathroom, plus use of the common spaces. It is a temporary deal, hopefully concluding soon (been over a year.) They are on very hard times, so we aren't charging them anything to stay with us. What we communicated to them early on was the expectation that they would do the lion's share of the cleaning and projects around the house while they were with us. (C'mon, for free digs for a year, it's not unreasonable!) It hasn't really worked out that way, and their welcome is... well... wearing out.

We're pretty sure it won't damage our friendship if things work out relatively soon, but it's always a risk... Something to think about.

[paddlenbike]

Heck, I think I'll just move in with Scott and save some money.

The cleanliness factor has always been the biggest issue for me and roommates. I would make sure you're on the same page there.

[Seanz0rz]

Heck, I think I'll just move in with Scott and save some money.

The cleanliness factor has always been the biggest issue for me and roommates. I would make sure you're on the same page there.


i just took out the apt. trash. i would say about 5% of total items were mine, 1% of total volume. i mainly use the trash in my room. that vast majority of this was rotten food, beer bottles and empty handles of tequila. thats the last time i take out their trash (only reason i took it out was it was spilling off into the path of the door...)

just make ground rules when you first move in, and on first violation, remind them. this way it never gets out of hand like it has in my place. (exactly a month left for me, thank god.)

[scottiac]

Heck, I think I'll just move in with Scott and save some money.



But where the *heck* would we put all your toys?!? And you might save some money, but you'd be working on my 4runner full time! :D

[oly884]

Compatibility does not seem to be an issue with both my buddy and his wife. We share the same group of friends, enjoy partying to the same amount, and share the same interests.

The place that we are going to be looking at tonight seems to have a well defined upper and lower level with the exception of the kitchen. It's big, 2000 sq.ft., and is a nice location for all of us. Rent is pricy, $2450/mo., but it is something that can be worked out if the place is really nice.

Thanks for the suggestions and keep them coming!

[Cheese]

A friend lives in a similar situation. Me pays 1/3 of rent but does not have the same away space that I would want.

I live alone and resent it some times. At the same time, when I want to type in my boxers or have naked time, no worries.

When I had roomies, they smoked too much weed and did not do the dishes at a rate I found acceptable.

Only advice is, if it feels good, make something like a plan for intended duration, possibility for action if things change or people need to move on. I guess if you are all renting, then no worries. My buddy is getting the shaft right now because one guy owned the house, graduated and go a new job so it was time to sell and move way too quickly.

Good luck.

[Bob98SR5]

Privacy is king in my book. Not to mention, you could be great friends now, but who knows what might happen that may compromise your friendship. Maybe the wife will put a wedge between you two for some weird reason and then he'll have to choose (and it won't be you). Too risky and I'd rather have a near 100% guarantee that you'll still be friends than take a much greater chance that the above might happen

Besides, your track record with roommates sucks balls ;)

[oly884]

Privacy is king in my book. Not to mention, you could be great friends now, but who knows what might happen that may compromise your friendship. Maybe the wife will put a wedge between you two for some weird reason and then he'll have to choose (and it won't be you). Too risky and I'd rather have a near 100% guarantee that you'll still be friends than take a much greater chance that the above might happen

Besides, your track record with roommates sucks balls ;)


Privacy is high on my list, but I've never ran into a privacy issue. Now for them, being married now, I would worry about their privacy.

As for the friendship, that is my biggest concern. I worry that if things came up how it would/could effect my relationship with both my friend and his wife.

The place we looked at last night was nice, but they wanted first, last, and deposit (which would have been $7350) and that's just too much money to be putting down right now. I have found some better places that we may or may not look at. I also know that they are looking at a place for just the 2 of them to which I have no arguments or ill feelings about. If they can find a place that is going to work for them, then by all means they should go for it.

I have one other person that I could move in with, another good friend that I get along with. So if this doesn't pan out or the feelings are not perfect about the situation, then there's always the backup plan.

[TDiddy]

Besides, your track record with roommates sucks balls ;)


'nuff said :lol:

[oly884]

To my defense, the roomies that I have not had great experiences with have been acquaintances as opposed to long time friends. Furthermore, I've only had two roomies that have been bad out of 8 total. So a .25 douchebag/bitch roommate factor isn't too bad!

Edit:

Although, sadly, this dose seem applicable:

http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/dysfunction.jpg
:lol:

[Osiris]

soooooo.....are you all going to have three-somes, where you and his wife gang up on him?????

:)

[oly884]

soooooo.....are you all going to have three-somes, where you and his wife gang up on him?????

:)


I'm going to go ahead and say that it would definitely not be a good idea.

[slosurfer]

To my defense, the roomies that I have not had great experiences with have been acquaintances as opposed to long time friends.


That could be why they are still your long time friends. You haven't lived with them. :D