For the motorcycle enthusiast, I give you..... Hondacus!

[elripster]

I have an '84 V65 Sabre and I subscribe to the Sabre BBS.

The one who goes by "Popwriter" definitely has a gift for writing. Behold Hondacus.

http://v4hondabbs.com/index.php?topic=34833.0

BTW, the part about the Harla Diva is so good it should be published copyrighted.

Frank

[slosurfer]

Frank, it looks like you have to be a member to access it.

[elripster]

Hmmmm, I can fix that.

"And the disciples John and Jerry did install the substitute motor. And it did start. And it was good.
And there were problems with the clutch. And it was not good. But the clutch was bled in the manner prescribed by our forbears and it was good.

And the motor would still not go into its first gear. And that was not good. And the linkage was looked at. It was connected in the proper manner.

And I began to covet the original motor. She doth beckoned to me with her broken bolts and clean cam lobes. And yea, those lobes were inviting. And her snug cam chains. Ah, she's a temptress. But lo, she was not the temptress. For she was the one in the frame from the beginning.

Alas, it was me who strayed. I was lured by the motor in the land of Aaron. It was me who rushed headlong into temptation. And for that, I am repentant.

And the disciple Clay had also imparted his wisdom. He too had helped me see the errors of my ways as did John. It was John who first planted the seeds of righteousness when he advised me not to forsake the motor that was born with the bike. But Jerry and John did not abandon me when I still desired the motor that was from the land of Aaron.

I must hope the original motor still has forgiveness in her heart. I will endow her with new gaskets and other gifts from the land of Honda. With the help of the disciples, I shall devote myself to her and return her glory to the bike.

And let it be said."

Hondacus: 750:11:14


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Re: The Chronicles of Hondacus
« Reply #16 on: November 23, 2007, 05:04:19 PM »

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And the disciples John and Clay have beckoned me to travel to the land of Syracuse. And I shall venture forth on trusty steed with baubles and adornments from the land of Honda to endow upon the motor that was borne unto the machine.

And I shall use the Pass of E-Z to facilitate my travel with expeditiousness.

And valve tolerances shall be checked to the specifications as in the method of our forefathers. And we shall install new gaskets and seals to prevent the air and oil and water from commingling. And that will be good.

And all fasteners shall be torqued in a judicious manner.

And I pray my journey is imbued with godspeed.

And it is written.

Amen.

Hondacus 750:11:23

"And the great messenger Harry did verily deliver the parts from the land of MattC to Hondacus. And they were quickly installed so as not to acquire the dust of impassivity.

And with great enthusiasm Hondacus anticipates his trek to the oracle of Syracuse, home of the disciples Jerry and Clay and John.

And knowledge will flow like the river Sarasvati. And there will be much rejoicing among the disciples and Hondacus, with feasting and the spilling of a great domestic beer. Confidence shall run high with the resurrection of the motor that was borne unto the machine. And the goodness will permeate all that are entrenched in the deed. And that is good. And all shall be blessed.

And all spirits shall rejoice as the as the physical world bonds with that of the spirit. And another Magna shall thwart the clutches of the Netherworld. And the oracle Kevlar shall eventually supply those clutches to the physical world."

And it is written. And it is said.

Hondacus 750:11:27

-this is probably the best part....

"Hondacus was visited in a dream by the soothsayer Manuella. She told him of dangers that could plague his journey. It was then he knew he must circumnavigate the area of Lake Harla.

On the lake lived a single siren who beckoned to all who would hear her. She was the Harla Diva. Her song was sweet to the ears and no mortal could deny her charms. As hear neared the lake, Hondacus knew he must plug his ears, lest he too would fall prey to the tempting song of the Harla Diva.

Years before, it was written by the forbears, the Harla Diva did consort with the pagan god Chromus and begat one son, Oehlspew. And when Chromus ran off and consorted with the young nymphs, Oehlspew denied the existence of his father and claimed the title of the Harla Diva's Son.

Oehlspew did, with kindness of heart, tend the flock of men turned to sheep by his mother's song. But the Harla Diva's Son did not like those of other tribes.

And there were those of Lake Harla who did not like the ways of the Harla Diva's son. They yearned for freedom and independence. But Oehlspew endowed them with leather and chrome and the voices of discontent were soon stilled.

Hondacus, with his ears still plugged, could see the emptiness in the lives of the inhabitants of Lake Harla. Their lives had no substance. Only the unfulfilled promises in the siren's sweet song.

Oehlspew saw Hondacus as a threat to his position. If the discontented of his tribe saw Hondacus and his freedom, they too might want to leave. Oehlspew also viewed Hondacus as a challenge and vowed to capture him. He set out with a few men to entrap Hondacus.

But as Hondacus journeyed forth, he could see the assemblage and avoided them, as Manuella had advised him to do. He traveled past the lake and the threats of the Harla Diva's Son. Even Oehlspew's fastest steed was no match for Hondacus.

And Hondacus continued on to the land of Syracuse.

And it is written. And it is said, Amen."

Hondacus 750:11:28

"And Hondacus did arrive in the land of Syracuse. And the disciples Jerry and Clay along with Hondacus did feast and drink. And it was good. And they spoke of the resurrection of the motor.

And on the morning of the next day, the heads were removed and it was discovered that the cams on the rear head were reversed by the one who had the bike before. The motor was never started like that. And that was good. Very good. (Whew!)

And the valve seals were replaced. And that was good. But time-consuming.

But the snows of winter had already begun in the land of Syracuse. And on the second day, the disciple Jerry did convince Hondacus to return to his home as his path would become more treacherous as the hours passed. With heavy heart, Hondacus bade farewell to Jerry and began his trek south.

And again, Hondacus would pass in the vicinity of Lake Harla. The Harla Diva and Oehlspew, the Harla Diva's son would be more concerned with staying warm and keeping their flock at bay than dealing with the likes of Hondacus.

And if there were vestiges of cries for freedom from any of the sheep men of Lake Harla, the Harla Diva would seek out the loudest desirer of independence and tame him for her own amusement. Her gilded words of loud pipes and expensive chrome would soothe the restlessness in the sheep man and he would quickly return to his submissive state of sheepishness.

And Hondacus did not need to plug his ears this time. But as a precaution, as he drove past Lake Harla, he turned the radio up.

And it is written. And it is said. Amen."

Hondacus 750:12:4:07


"There was an obscure legend in the writings of the forbears, one that was not evident to those not familiar with the subtleties of the ancient scripture. Before running off with the young nymphs, Chromus left the Lake Harla Diva with another child. A daughter.

She was given the name Verodnika. As a young child, she was inquisitive and progressive of thought. Verodnika inherited her father's aptitude for things mechanical.

Even the sheep-men of Lake Harla knew nothing of Verodnika's existence. She was kept in a secret place on the outskirts of Lake Harla known only to her mother, her brother Oehlspew, and the hand maidens who were her caretakers.

The Lake Harla Diva would not allow her daughter to mingle with the sheep-men. And as Verodnika grew older, she acquired her mother's beauty, but was forbidden by her mother to leave the area of Lake Harla. Verodnika's mechanical ability far exceeded that of any of the sheep-men, and it was said that she was even more adept than Oehlspew. Her steed was faster and quieter than any of the inhabitants of Lake Harla.

And it is written. And it is said. Amen."

Hondacus 750:12:5:07