Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Safe Cyber-Sex

  1. #1

    Safe Cyber-Sex

    Saw this on another forum. Safe cybersex?

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, Im toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
    Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to have sex with me?
    Wellhung: OK
    Sweetheart: Were in my bedroom.Theres soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.Im looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
    Wellhung: Im gulping, Im beginning to sweat.
    Sweetheart: Im pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
    Wellhung: Now Im unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
    Sweetheart: Im moaning softly.
    Wellhung: Im taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
    Sweetheart: Im throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. Im rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. Im sorry.
    Sweetheart: Thats OK, it wasnt really too expensive.
    Wellhung: Ill pay for it.
    Sweetheart: Dont worry about it. Im wearing a lacy black bra. My soft b***** are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
    Wellhung: Im fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think its stuck. Do you have any scissors?
    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. Im reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my b******. My n****** are erect for you.
    Wellhung: How did you do that? Im picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
    Sweetheart: Im arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
    Wellhung: Im dropping the bra. Now Im licking your, you know, b******. Theyre neat!
    Sweetheart: Im running my fingers through your hair. Now Im nibbling your ear.
    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your b****** are covered with spit and phlegm.
    Sweetheart: What?
    Wellhung: Im so sorry. Really.
    Sweetheart: Im wiping your phlegm off my b****** with the remains of my blouse.
    Wellhung: Im taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
    Sweetheart: OK. Im pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
    Wellhung: Im screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
    Sweetheart: Im pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
    Wellhung: Im pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
    Sweetheart: Whats the matter?
    Wellhung: Ive got a pubic hair caught in my throat. Im choking.
    Sweetheart: Are you OK?
    Wellhung: Im having a coughing fit. Im turning all red.
    Sweetheart: Can I help?
    Wellhung: Im running to the kitchen, choking wildly. Im fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
    Wellhung: Im drinking a cup of water. There, thats better.
    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
    Wellhung: Im washing the cup now.
    Sweetheart: Im on the bed arching for you.
    Wellhung: Im drying the cup. Now Im putting it back in the cabinet. And now Im walking back to the bedroom. Wait, its dark, Im lost. Wheres the bedroom?
    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
    Wellhung: I found it.
    Sweetheart: Im tuggin' off your pants. Im moaning. I want you so badly.
    Wellhung: Me too.
    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
    Sweetheart: Why dont you take off your glasses?
    Wellhung: OK, but I cant see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
    Sweetheart: Im bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
    Wellhung: I have to pee. Im fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and its dark. Im feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
    Sweetheart: Im waiting eagerly for your return.
    Wellhung: Im done going. Im feeling around for the flush handle, but I cant find it. Uh-oh!
    Sweetheart: Whats the matter now?
    Wellhung: Ive realized that Ive peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. Im walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
    Wellhung: OK, now Im going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...womans thing.
    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
    Wellhung: Im touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, Im having a little trouble here.
    Sweetheart: Im moving my butt back and forth, moaning. I cant stand it another second! Slide in! Do me now!
    Wellhung: Im flaccid.
    Sweetheart: What?
    Wellhung: Im limp. I cant sustain an erection.
    Sweetheart: Im standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
    Wellhung: Im shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. Im going to get my glasses and see whats wrong.
    Sweetheart: No, never mind. Im getting dressed. Im putting on my underwear. Now Im putting on my wet nasty blouse.
    Wellhung: No wait! Now Im squinting, trying to find the night table. Im feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
    Sweetheart: Im buttoning my blouse. Now Im putting on my shoes.
    Wellhung: Ive found my glasses. Im putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! Im pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
    Sweetheart: Go to hell. Im logging off, you loser!
    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
    Sweetheart: <logged off>
    92 4Runner SR5 V6 4X4<br />Skyjacker Nitro shocks, Pro-Comp steering stabilizer, clear bumper lenses, lund windjammer, OME standard coils, ISR mod, inlet pipe removed, Bushwaker Fender Flares.<br /><br />2002 Tacoma Prerunner V6 extracab. Lund Intercepter bug guard, rear glass sunshield, Bilstein shocks on rear.<br /><br />2004 Honda CRV EX stock belongs to wife.

  2. #2

    Re: Safe Cyber-Sex

    hahahah, ive actually had a few REAL instances like that... good times being young...

    thats halarious. thanks!
    2005 Lexus LX470 - Stock for now...

    1998 Toyota 4Runner SR5 V6 4x4 + a bunch of goodies. Lifted, Locked, Illuminated and Armored. Winner,"Best Offroad Truck" - 2010 Pismo Jamboree. It's been upside down and still drives me to work.

  3. #3

    Re: Safe Cyber-Sex

    Thats AWESOME!!!!
    -Chris
    2004 DoubleCab Tacoma PreRunner: 3.4 V6-Auto, DD/Tow Rig
    1997 Lexus LX450: 4.5 I6-Auto, DD
    1984 4Runner: 22R-5 speed, 14 inch bob, 5.29's, lincoln locked rear, lockright front, Armored and Caged by Mossyrocks Fabrication, total disregard for body damage.
    1997 4Runner: GONE
    1996 FZJ80 Land Cruiser: GONE

  4. #4

  5. #5

    Re: Safe Cyber-Sex

    I don't remember it ever being like that...

  6. #6

    Re: Safe Cyber-Sex

    That just might be the funniest thing i have ever read!

  7. #7

    Re: Safe Cyber-Sex

    There's another one out there that is similar and equally funny. Gotta see if I can find it...
    2010 Sequoia Limited Black - Bils UCA & Shocks, Borla Cat back, Morimoto Headlights
    2019 4Runner TRD Off Road Premium Dark Blue w/TRD Gunmetal Wheels - Kings/OME, 285/70R17 Nitto Ridge Grapplers, SSO BMC, TRD Skid, Victory 4x4 Blitz Sliders and Front Bumper, BD Fogs & Light Bar, Morimoto Headlights, Prinsu Rack
    2023 Tacoma Trail White w/Bronze wheels - CBI T3 Side Steps

  8. #8

    Re: Safe Cyber-Sex

    Mike are you talking about the Dungeons and Dragons one?
    I vaguely remember seeing that on TOF.
    Beat up old 2002 Tacoma

  9. #9

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •